Big Brother 20: Nominations

I’m posting the following for Sherry. She is unable to get on Discus this season:

SHERRY:
As I sit at my computer I am remembering so many happy childhood memories. Memories I think we all shaire in common. They are of playing in the park with friends; swimming at a favorite swim hole, lake, or community swimming pool; the many birthday parties and teen parties (which might have included the risque game of spin the bottle);sleepovers the boys had and slumber parties the girls had….so many great memories that helped to shape the people we would one day become.

Then I compare the life of a four-year-old little girl (Angela) who remembers eight hours in a gym/6 days a week (somehow gymnastics training doesn’t qualify under the child labor laws), then taking an hour long drive home each night to do home schooling before bedtime.

She often spoke not a word on those long drives. She cried instead…but only inside where no one would see. She’d be so sore on Sundays, she could hardly get out of bed…only to
start the whole routine over on Monday. Her whole life was structured around training. Her diet was so restricted, she became anorexic. She endured horrible pain at times during
endurance training, but complaining was punished. So che cried…but only inside where no one would see. She went to meets where there were othes like herself, all trained to not show emotion or display any real personality. The smiles were rare and laughter non-existent. Her friends were those with whom she competed against. The competition was stiff, but someone has to lose. You hope it won’t be you, so you work harder. This was her
childhood. Where were the opportunities for social growth and happy, childhood memories?

I compare the young gymnasts I’ve watched over the years at the Olympics. I remember wondering why they seemed so unhappy and robotic. But I never fully grasped what I was seeing, until I heard Angela’s story.

She knows competing and competes hard. It’s all she’s ever known. She’s feels confident when competing. Yet she hears some say she’s cold, heartless, and soulless. She stores these hurtful words inside so no one will know how accurately their arrow of words have injured her heart. So her lack of reaction causes some to say she thinks she better than anyone else. Then she falls in love with the only guy who successfully manages to penetrate the protective barriers she’s spent years fortifying around her heart. He opens up the storeroom of tears she’s hidden all her life and tells her it’s all right to cry, It’s all right to talk about the scars inside her, it’s all right to show her hurt and be vulnerable.

She begins to bloom under his loving attentions. She clings to these wonderful new feelings she’s never had before. But then they say she’s ruining his game and turning him into someone just as cold and smug as she. She does the only thing she knows how to do…she wins as many comps as she can, as does he. But then some say they are boring. It’s a no win situation for them. No matter how talented they are, how many comps they win, how well executed their gameplay is, or how well orchestrated the moves to bring the right people into their alliance…it is somehow never enough. It breaks my heart.

Then I try to imagine what JC’s childhood was like. He is in a country where he does not know the language. Even when he struggles to learn the language, his accent makes it difficult for others to understand him. He stays frustrated by not being able to communicate at the level he wants. Soon that frustration will turn into anger that never seems to disappear.

He is much smaller in stature than is normal, making him unable to compete at the same level as normal children. He is teased and bullied. But that is only the beginning. He discovers he’s gay. This makes life even harder for him, especially with a family who will
never understand this and are ashamed of him because of it. But he’s determined to make them see his real worth and makes a financial success of his life. He is sure he will see pride in their eyes now. But it doesn’t happen. It isn’t enough. He goes on BB and sits on a couch as his fellow houseguests all receive loving videos from their families.

They speak of how proud they are of them and how much they love them. And he finds himself hoping against hope, there is a video for him, too. There is, but only from a friend. He sits there fighting the tears and the feelings of never being enough for those whose love he craves the most. And my heart breaks again.

KC has not had an easy life, either. Being gay has made life difficult for her,too. She still struggles to earn her mother’s understanding and prays each day her mother will one day stop crying over the disappointment in her daughter.

So when these special people find themselves the only ones standing at the end, I will be on the sidelines cheering them on with all my being. They have earned my admiration.

I don’t care how many are cheering them on in the end, I am so very proud of them and for me….they are enough.

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Congrats to KC!!! But I was thinking. If Tyler and Angela want to go to F2 together, they need to put KC up next to JC… assuming she doesn’t win… and tell her she’s a pawn and then send her to jury. They could easily beat JC. If they stick to their friendships and F3 she may win it all. Be interesting to see what prevails. Greed or loyalty. 😉

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